Results

The radiologist has read my PET scan and the result is "Stable Disease." In other words, the cancer is neither growing nor shrinking. Given how aggressive this disease is, this is very good news. 

I'll admit that I was hoping for some further shrinkage. I responded so well to the chemo + immunotherapy regimen that I was hoping that I would also respond unusually well to the immunotherapy alone. However, my oncologist says that in the end it doesn't much matter whether the tumor shrinks further. The main thing is to keep it from progressing again for as long as possible. And so far, that is what is happening.

I find myself a little sobered, though, at the thought that I am now transitioning away from crisis mode to Living With Cancer. This cancer will always be with me, and someday it will probably kill me.

But not today. And not even this year. For that I am deeply grateful.

Scanned

 Yesterday I went and got a PET scan. My scan before that (back in August) was a CT scan, the idea being that PET scans are better at judging tumor activity and CT scans are better at judging tumor size, so it's good to alternate. A PET scan involves being made slightly radioactive with an injection and then spending a long time lying very still inside a big machine that reads the radioactivity—kind of like a very big, three-dimensional Geiger counter. I'm very glad for my port at times like this, as it means I don't have to get the injection in a vein. The lab tech is also glad for my port, as it means she doesn't have to find my vein!

And now we wait. Anxiety surrounding scans is so well known in the cancer world that it's even acquired its own portmanteau word, scanxiety. I certainly felt that anxiety back in April when I had my first post-chemo PET scan, but I'm pleased to be able to report that I am not feeling particularly anxious as I await my results this time. For one thing, I'm pretty sure the results will be good—where "good" in this context means either stable disease or shrinking tumors. Only progression of the disease is considered bad. For another thing, if the results are bad, then I really want to know so that we can take defensive measures.

I'll let you know how it turns out!