Fictional Mothers

I've just read yet another book with a dead mother. Earlier this year, in the months immediately following my diagnosis, I would have found such a book too hard to read. Nowadays I'm not screening my reading material so carefully, and I'm finding dead mothers everywhere, from Cinderella on down.

It's an effective plot device, giving protagonists challenges to overcome; but I can't help reflecting on the average life expectancy for a fictional mother as opposed to a real one. The difference could be dangerous.

Anand and I watched a movie the other day with—you guessed it—a dead mother. In one of the flashback scenes, the mother tells her daughter that she is going to die. "It's come back," she says. The illness was never identified by name, but clearly we are meant to understand it was cancer. The daughter urges the mother to get aggressive treatment and to travel to Germany, where there are supposedly newer treatments. The mother refuses, saying that there is nothing to be done and she just wants to live her last days in peace.

And there's the problem. That's how Hollywood portrays cancer. It's the mother-killer. It's not a disease that you can fight. Fighting it is presented as both hopeless and painful. 

If I didn't know better, I might believe that.

For anyone reading this blog who might get a cancer diagnosis: don't believe the stories! Cancer is often survivable; and even when it is not, treatment can prolong not just life but meaningful life. New treatments are being developed, and they do not leave you wishing you were dead. For once, the truth is better than fiction.